Breaking a Few Eggs. . .

Admittedly, I get lazy sometimes.  The whole reason I wrote a cookbook was because of the idea to organize all of my recipes into one well-ordered location.  On that note, this has been a difficult week--work has been especially demanding, some sort of alien space plague has been circulating through the members of the household, and in situations like this, cooking complex meals is sort of a low-priority interest.  It's times like these when the adventurer falls back on simpler times.  Thoughts of ramen-fueled college nights and your fondness for fried bologna start to pop into your head when you come home after a 12 hour shift and have to make certain everyone is still alive.  It's times like these when you remember how good "breakfast for dinner" can be.

I learned a long time ago that, if you needed something good and quick, eggs in the fridge were your best choice.  As a rule, unless you insist on being complicated, eggs cook up quickly and easily; plus, with the myriad of ways they can be prepared, you could eat them every night (or morning) of the week and have something different each time.  Eggs have, on average, 6 grams of protein each, which also make them a good post-workout food.  That being said, eggs have been on both sides of the nutritional fence over the last several decades, due in no small part to the fact that they have, on average, 187 mg of cholesterol each.  The thing is, your body makes its own cholesterol, so it will be in your system whether you eat that egg or not.  Some people have high cholesterol because their bodies do not recognize that they are ingesting it adequately enough through their diet, and it doesn't slow down its own production.  On the other side of the coin, you can also have high cholesterol from eating too much and leading a non-active lifestyle.  Good rule of thumb:  visit your doctor once and a while.

Unless you're making a ridiculously complex frittata, most egg dishes can be cooked in a few minutes with little fuss.  Poached eggs take approximately three minutes, and scrambled generally take a bit less.  When I scramble eggs, I usually mix everything into the container I'm beating the eggs in and pour it all into the pan at once (except sausage--you want to make sure it is thoroughly cooked).

POACHED EGGS-->

• Bring water to a steady simmer in a small saucepan
• Add a dash of vinegar to the water
• Crack the egg into a small cup or bowl (this makes inserting it into the water much easier)
• Stir the water in the pan until you get a steady "whirlpool" motion.  This helps hold the egg together when you pour it in
• Pour the egg into the center of the whirlpool, as close to the surface as you can manage
• Don't stir it, touch it, poke it, or even look at it sternly.  It will cook in three minutes
• Take the egg out of the water with a slotted spoon and drain it for a bit on a paper towel

When done properly, a poached egg will usually be teardrop-shaped with a firm white and runny yolk.  Don't be discouraged if it doesn't turn out well the first dozen times you try this.

If you absolutely insist on trying to poach eggs in the microwave (which can, by the way, cause them to explode), crack an egg into a half-cup of water in a small, microwaveable container and cover it with a plate.  Microwave on high for a minute.  If, after a minute, it still isn't quite right, cook it no more than 15 seconds at a time until it's done.

SCRAMBLED EGGS-->

By far, the easiest method, scrambling an egg consists of cracking your eggs into a bowl or measuring cup, and then beating them to within an inch of their lives before pouring them into a hot pan.  The more vigorously you beat the eggs, the fluffier they will be.

• Beat eggs, adding anything you think that would go well with them.  Salt, pepper, sliced mushrooms, onions, cheese, or even salsa!
• Heat around two tablespoons of butter in a nonstick pan over medium heat (or use cooking spray, if butter gives you the heebie-jeebies)
• Pour in the eggs, folding them as they solidify.  With the flipper inverted, pull them across the pan.  This gives them that fluffy, curd-shape.  Keep folding until they are completely cooked.
• Serve immediately!  I'm not sure what the R-value is on the average egg, but they cool off quickly.

Even in "Cooking for Adventurers" I shied away from getting too in-depth with frying eggs.  The method is simple; you crack an egg into a hot pan and cook it until it stops wiggling enough for you to enjoy eating it.  Whether you flip or not depends on the heat and your liking for "Sunnyside up" vs. "Over Easy".  I have, on occasion, used vegetable rings (onions, peppers, etc.) to better contain and flip the eggs, and I have accidentally fried the eggs I intended to use for my chow mien stir fry, because I got way ahead of myself.

One fun note:  People tend to avoid cooking eggs in cast iron pans, as the eggs will (harmlessly) take on a greenish color.

But, there you go--the rudiments of cooking the simple egg.  They're good for when you want to be fancy, or when you're feeling lazy.  The egg doesn't judge.  I've paired them with bacon, steak, and even the aforementioned fried bologna.  We'll get into some more complex recipes in the near future, including a Finnish dessert that everyone loves, and is ridiculously simple to make.  As a matter of fact, I have this weekend off; maybe I'll show you guys how to make your own bologna. . .